Happy St. Patty's Day 2007
Céad Míle Fáilte
"A hundred thousand welcomes"
Kelly's Dream
I was invited by
an old time friend of mine,
To come up to his residence
and test his beer and wine.
We ate a LOBSTER SALAD…
and a lot of other truck,
And, we drank each other’s
health until the hour of 3 had struck.
We drank, until we didn’t
know which was wine...
nor beer,
Till our heads grew rather heavy…
and our brains not very clear.
Well, I got home, I don’t
know How…
my prayers, I think I said?
But anyway, I was paralyzed when I got into bed.
I died… And, went to
Heaven.
And, saw repentance was now too Late.
For Suddenly, I was ushered…
before the Golden Gate.
“AND, WHAT WILL YOU HAVE”
said PETER,
“ Don’t you know you can’t get in?
For surely you must suffer the GREEDY Gluttons Sin.”
I looked at Peter and his
clerk and
hung my head in shame,
As Peter’s clerk who stood Close by wrote LOST…
against my name.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Next… Came an Italian,
one who knew well,
And, lingering,
listened to the story he might tell.
A Guda Fatha Pe'ta.
I come-a to you, at last,
My Peanuta days are ova,
my Banana days are past.
I Gud to my neighba…
no begga, no robba, no steal,
And, never on da sidewalk…
I trow da banana peel.
“Then, You be GONE”… Said
Peter…
“Your thoughts were ill begotten”
“Your peanut shells were empty…
and your banana’s off time rotten.
Poor Tony… looked at
Peter
and a tear was in his eye,
And, just like my Old Tony…
he took his place in Line.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Next, came a Hebrew
with a Satchel in his hand,
And, to St. Peter and
his clerk the Hebrew took the stand.
“A Guta Vader Peter…
I vill tell you vat I vill do,”
“I have Chool-ery fit for Angels,
I vud auction off for you.”
“I vud zell dem on de
installment plan,
OH! But dat vud be a sin,”
“So, I vill give dem to you for haf price,
if you vill only let me in?”
“On eart, I keep da
clothing store,
My goots ver neat and strong”
“To show I have an overcoat,
Oh… I forgot to bring along”.
“Then, you did Well”…
Said Peter,
“For very well you know,”
“They’ll be no need for Overcoats...
where you will have to go.”
The Hebrew looked at
Peter,
he must evermore repine,
And, just like me and Tony,
he waddled into line.
++++++++++++++++++++++++
Then came an Old Maid,
one bound to have her say,
And, she began addressing
Peter in this peculiar way.
“Good Gracious Me.
Here I am after Gossiping many a year”
“Now get your clerk to let me in…
I’ll be catching cold out here”
“Give me a First Class
pair of wings,
a Silver Shield and then,
“I won’t be afraid of the Naughty,
Naughty, MEN!”
“HOLD" Cried Peter!
"No angels have gray hair",
"You have no Sons or Daughters,
so you would be a stranger there”
The poor old maiden
wilted,
with a look that was resigned,
And, just like me and all the rest…
she sashayed into line.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Next, came a German,
one paralyzed with fear,
Who on earth... off times...
had paralyzed his customers with beer.
“A Gutta Vadder Peter…
I coma to you… Free from Sin,”
“I vill only ask you one question,
and das is… Vill you let me in?”
“Mine wife, she run away
from me,
to hide my shame I cried”
“And, I vent down by de river and committed suicide.”
“Then, YOU BEGONE", said
Peter,
"and suffer thy disgrace,”
“You came before I sent for you,
I can not make a place.”
The German looked at
Peter and said..
“Oh Got, Oh Mine”
And, just like me and all the rest,
he took his place in line”
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Then, came Old Paddy,
a Son of Erin’s Isle,
And, to St. Peter and his clerk,
Old Paddy took this style.
“Tis it yerself, St. Peter,
looking, so nice and swate,”
“Now git yer clark to let me in
and show me to me sate”
“HOLD", Cried Peter…
"Your case like all the rest, must first be tried”
“You have to have a Passport before you get inside.”
“Well, sure hurry up” said Paddy,
“or for supper I’ll be late”
And, purposely he took his old slouch hat…
and Threw it inside the gate.
“GO, GET THY HAT", said Peter,
“THY SACRILIGIOUS LOUT”
And, Pat went in… and slammed the gate...
and locked St. Peter Out.
Then through the keyhole now he cried,
“I’m Master now YE SEE,”
“And, Faith I’ll give up Heaven, Gate,
and Crown, if yil set Old Ireland FREE.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Then I AWOKE, and found myself,
beneath the beds and walls,
The sheets were tangled ‘round my FEET…
T’was that LOBSTER… DID IT ALL!!!!!
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
This was a poem that my Mother,
Lucylle Caffery Ruggerio,
use to recite to my 3 brothers, sister,
and me when we were small children. : )
I can still see her now,
as though she was on stage,
doing all the dialects.
She was so talented
and did perform in many
Theater Productions here in Cleveland.
With St. Patrick's Day nearing,
I thought I would share this
wonderful poem with all of you.
My brother Jack remembered this,
dialects and all, and sent it to me.
Enjoy and may God hold you ALL,
in the palm of his hands!
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view the next page St. Pattys Day Creations 2007
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This site was recreated for Patty on 5 march 2008 by:
